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Updated: May 5, 2022

They are constant. We get signals in our body, telling us when we aren’t safe. We can feel someone as they walk behind us because we sense something. How often do we not pay attention to the signals of our body?

We also get signs from our higher self, asking us to pay attention. If all paths lead to the same place, why don’t we pick up the bread crumbs that are left on our trail to this magical place where we all come from and where we all return to? The key is to find that here, heaven on earth, shambala, nirvana, utopia, whatever you’d like to call it.

We all have a purpose, sometimes that purpose is unclear. We all have gifts, and how often do we ignore those in pursuit of making money or in pursuit of happiness? Happiness is not lasting. We are human with gobs of different emotions. Different states of consciousness. Learning this was a turning point in my spiritual practice, because I always felt there was something wrong with me if I was anything less than happy. I craved for certain openings, revelations, epiphanies, expansion, blissed out feelings just like I did with my initial addictions to drugs or alcohol. I stuffed my emotions deep inside and became hardened from the shield and armor I put around my heart. Fearful someone would see my vulnerability. The truth is, is that we are all vulnerable. We have these soft insides that have our bones to protect all of our internal organs that are vital and working for us all the time. To bring yourself into a big heart opener doesn’t feel natural because we typically, cave in around or heart, our shoulders round in and we slump when we feel trauma or are even deflecting words that come our way.

As yogis, we are constantly transmuting, turning lead into gold, shedding our skin like a snake. Recently, I have been studying from a lineage called The Modern Mystery School. Their whole aim is to create Shambala on earth. As I have reached another understanding of my being with receiving this work, I decided I wanted to study it. It is about harnessing the light…in Sanskrit we call this Jyoti. We are made up of light and shadow, but how often do we let our shadow run the show? Anytime we are acting from our unconscious, places where we feel inadequate, where we move from fear, greed, envy. Any time we are concealing ourselves or playing small or dimming our light, we are in our shadow. Anything other than love we are moving from our shadow. Now that I have this awareness, when I see myself slipping into fear or reactivity, I pause, I do my rituals, I go into my practice and I hold myself there. I love myself through those shadowy bits.

It is easy to fall back into these places of doubt, fear. Our brains kind of work like this. Anything negative the brain acts as velcro, it just sticks. Anything positive it acts like Tephalon. That means we have to work extra hard at capturing the light. Once I had my astrology chart read to me and the astrologer told me I was the black sheep of my family but that I would help them evolve. As I had found myself lately in some same sabotage patterns, I quickly noticed it and transmuted it into the light. My first healing I received from this school, I felt as though the practitioner was pulling snake skin off my shoulders. The reason why I am telling you this is because this circles back to the signs. Without remembering my first experience of the snake skin being shed from my shoulders, I have been in the process of re-branding myself now that I offer these other healing modalities. I saw a picture of a hawk and a snake and sent this to my designer. We ended up only using the snake. The day the business cards were made, my designer texted to tell me they were finished. I was out visiting family and we looked up in the sky and we saw a hawk with a snake in it’s mouth. When we are on the right track, the signs will be there. When we are in the dark, the signs will also be there loud and clear. How well are we listening, witnessing, paying attention?

My invitation to you is to come on retreat. Get away from the constant noise, especially the noise in our head. It takes awhile to re-pattern the brain, to come back to healthy habits. A retreat offers you this as you don’t have to do the daily grind, cook food, clean or pay bills. You can simply drop into your being with just you and your breath.


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